This is the first guest post for The Novice Gardener. It’s written by her own lovely daughter aka The Girl. What do you think of her writing skills? Remember, she’s only 10.

Things have been hectic lately for The Novice Gardener. The Husband certainly is very good at watching the sports channel, but a new talent of his has been discovered. Destruction.

A long time ago, when The Girl and The Boy were still young, The Novice Gardener took them to Hawaii. A plant, called Ti plant, caught her interest so she bought it and brought it home.

But now The Husband has poured vinegar, meant to be pickle juice, onto the plant. The Novice Gardener was in the middle of making pickles when she got distracted by something else, so she left a bowl of pickle juice in the kitchen. When she came back, she found the bowl already washed clean, drying on the dishwasher rack. The Husband had used the solution to water plants.

The Girl commented on how foolish the notion was, watering plants with vinegar. The Novice Gardener was fuming at The Husband for not even noticing the scent of the vinegar. She started yelling out “Plant killer!” while darting furious looks in The Husband’s direction. In a hurry, The Girl and The Husband attempted to drown out the vinegar with water.

The Boy, throughout all of this, had taken no notice of the situation and continued laughing it up with his friends on a multiplayer video game. The Girl continued to pour water on the Ti plant, and she even helped with bringing the plant outside and turning on the hose.

But before all this, The Novice Gardener had dragged The Husband into helping her pull out weeds in the garden. He had somehow managed to pull the flowers instead of the weeds! This resulted in The Novice Gardener getting a headache. The Husband had also managed to kill the lawn with some sort of fertilizer. He applied it on the lawn and the grass got fried.

Despite all of this, The Novice Gardener has managed to resuscitate the grass, and the flowers, (not too sure about the Ti plant). So The Husband lives to tell the story another day. The Girl would rather laugh about the idiocy, and The Boy knows nothing.

So thus the adventures of The Saboteur have begun. Despite all the damage he’s done, The Novice Gardener still needs The Saboteur, because The Saboteur, is also The Masseuse. And The Masseuse is also The Chauffeur, and to the children, he is known as Poppa, and to The Girl, he is known as The Horse, although he would rather that she calls him The Steed. I guess The Saboteur has more talents than destruction and watching sports.

The Saboteur’s latest victim.