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The Novice Gardener

Tag Archives: funny

How to tell you’re not dead

13 Monday Jan 2014

Posted by Angie | Fiesta Friday in Blogging, Humor, WordPress

≈ 47 Comments

Tags

Andre Agassi, blogging challenge, funny, humor, Pete Sampras, Raphael Nadal, Roger Federer, sports, tennis, Zero to Hero challenge, zerotohero

Zero to Hero just got very interesting. Yesterday’s assignment was to leave a few comments on blogs we haven’t commented on before, and to remember where we left the comments. Supposedly it would all make sense the next day when the new assignment is revealed.

And it just did. Today’s assignment (#12, by the way, if you’re keeping tabs) is to write a post elaborating on one of those comments. Well, color me lucky, ’cause I happened to leave this comment on this blog:

WordPress Zero to Hero blogging challenge

Life vs. death is only the most important subject in the world, yes? Unless, of course, you’re a sports fan. Then winning vs. losing is more important than life vs. death. That’s exactly why I never root for a team or an athlete, anymore.

Seems to me that every time I do that, I always end up in disappointment. No amount of praying or holding my pee pee can reverse any jinx. The team or athlete I hate always wins.

For instance, my favorite tennis player is Pete Sampras. The best there ever is. Plus I’m deeply connected with Pete. Hubby’s former colleague’s wife used to hit balls with Pete before he became a pro. I was devoted to him from the moment I found out about that. No amount of hair shaggy-ing by Andre Agassi could dissuade me. Turned out Andre was wearing a wig, by the way. But that’s another story best told by his fans. See how easily I get distracted?

As Pete’s fan, I was elated when he broke Roy Emerson’s record for the most Grand Slam wins with 14. Surely, he’d become a tennis God with that kind of record. No one was going to be able to touch that, I thought. Imagine my irritation when Roger Federer started inching closer. But the more hatred I felt for Federer, the more wins he collected. Until he finally topped Pete’s record with his 17. I just died.

I have developed a strategy to work around it somewhat. Here goes, try to follow. I’m no longer fixated on Federer. Instead, I concentrate my energy by championing Raphael Nadal. He has now collected 13 Grand Slam wins. 4 more and he’ll catch Ferderer, 5 more and he’ll erase Federer’s top spot. Doesn’t matter that Pete moves to third place. Federer won’t be on top.

Besides, have you ever watched Rafa play or just watched him, period, playing or not? Now, tell me that’s not a beautiful face! Incidentally, check him out and cheer him on at the Australian Open, currently taking place. I think I’m back to being alive now.

raphael nadal

Oh yeah, that was what I wanted to talk about, being alive vs. dead. Specifically, I have a question to ask you. When a person dies, does he or she know that he or she is dead? Anybody been dead before? Otherwise, please refrain from answering the question. You simply have no credibility.

As for me, I know for sure I’m not dead. I woke up this morning and looked sideways and I didn’t see Rafa. But I had paella (Rafa is from Spain, as is paella.) Recipe will follow one of these days.

paella valenciana soccarat

Anyone out there has another foolproof way of telling they’re not dead?

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Groundhog Day, in August

30 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by Angie | Fiesta Friday in Daily Prompt, Poetry

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

animal, fauna, funny, groundhog, humor, nature, poem, post ideas, postaday, whistle pig, writing prompts

sneaky groundhog

The snap peas were decimated.
The lettuce, mowed down.
The red cabbages, gorged to stubs.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was the lone Brandywine tomato,
In that stage between green and red.
Gone, all of it.

Devastation is a repeating theme in the garden this year.
Mr. Rabbit was highly suspected.
He was seen in the vicinity of Stella d’ Oro.
But in the front yard, outside the fence.
He looked rather benign and sluggish.
Didn’t even flinch,
Even as I came within a few feet.
So I let him be.
He couldn’t have done all that damage, he’s so languid.

I was right, it turned out.
It was this fellow all along.

groundhog eating grass funny

Mr. Groundhog, who has many aliases.
He goes by Mr. Woodchuck sometimes,
Also Mr. Whistle-pig.
Can’t blame him really.
With such a reputation,
He’d rather remain unidentified,
And have Mr. Rabbit take the blame.
Sneaky!

Link: Daily Prompt: A Little Sneaky

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Spreading the love around

19 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by Angie | Fiesta Friday in Uncategorized, WordPress

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

awards, funny, humor, links, Versatile Blogger Award, Wordpress Family Award

Or pay it forward. However you want to categorize it, I’m deeply grateful to Amy and Jessica for nominating me for the WordPress Family Award and the Versatile Blogger Award, respectively.

Go check out their blogs right now, because there’s nobody that can motivate you to get your lazy derrière off the couch the way Amy can. She is always on the go. And then, there’s Jessica. What else is there to say about her? She cooks dishes like Spanish Paella and Chinese Char Siu Pork. And you really need to check out her Malteser Cake!

Thank you girls, for the recognition and acknowledgement. Don’t we secretly want these awards? I did. Who doesn’t want free publicity?

And now, I’m spreading my WordPress Family love to the following blogger friends, people I follow and read regularly because they inform and inspire me. Please check them out. The list is in alphabetical order.

wordpress family award

1. Anna’s Cuisine
2. Bentodays
3. Bread and Tortillas
4. Garden to Wok
5. In the Stewingpot
6. Jay Bee’s World
7. Love & Magnolia Gardens
8. Polianthus
9. Talking Experience
10. Wildness

The rules for accepting the WordPress Family Award can be found here.

And for the Versatile Blogger Award, I nominate the following bloggers, also a group of people whose work I find inspiring. Do visit their sites. You might find something to like there. Again, in alphabetical order.

versatile blogger award

1. Anna Shortcakes
2. Annie’s Kitchen Garden
3. A Taste of Morning
4. Busy Day
5. Farm Fresh Feast
6. Gardeninacity
7. High Desert Garden
8. Ice Cream Magazine
9. In Her Chucks
10. Ladybluerose
11. Mitts and Measures
12. Superduque
13. The Chicken Chick
14. The Local Kitchener
15. The Saffron Chronicles

The rules for this award are:
1. Visit and thank the blogger who nominated you.
2. Acknowledge that blogger on your blog and a link back.
3. Share 7 random interesting things about yourself.
4. Nominate up to 15 bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award
5. Provide a link to their blogs in your post, and notify them on their blogs.
6. Copy and paste the award somewhere on your blog.

I guess now I have to share 7 random facts about myself:
1. I once had a pet rooster.
2. When I was a baby, my aunt (who didn’t have any daughter) kept asking my mom (who had 2 daughters by then) to let her adopt me.
3. Consequently I was very confused who my real mother was, since my aunt kept stealing me and insisting I called her mom.
4. Speaking of being a baby, I must have been a pretty greedy one. In most of the photos taken of me and my older sister, I always held two things (toys, candies, drinks, etc.) while my sister had none. I must have grabbed hers. Was it even a wonder? I didn’t think she was my sister.
5. I’ve lived in 3 different countries and 8 different cities.
6. I used to be obsessed with anything Jane Austen. At times still am, but now I’m able to control myself.
7. My husband snores. Does that qualify as a random fact about myself?

Now, some of you may very well have received these awards before. I don’t know what the rules are in that case. Accept all over again? I would. Hey, if actors can win the same awards multiple times, why can’t bloggers? I’d say it’s more opportunity to spread more love around. Is this my way of trying to get more awards in the future? Of course not! 😉

But, if you think copying and pasting is too much for you, you don’t have to do anything. Just know that I’m thinking of you and that I appreciate your work.

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Fiesta Friday #439

Fiesta Friday #439

Happy early 4th, guys! How are you all going to celebrate? Is anybody thinking of having a block party? Wouldn’t that be fun, huh?! A couple of years ago, just before the pandemic, we celebrated with several of our immediate neighbors, potluck style. We had such a good time we promised to repeat it annually. […]

Fiesta Friday #438

Fiesta Friday #438

So, the elderflower champagne experiment was a bust, unfortunately. And I spent SO. MUCH. TIME! I trimmed off every little stem from the blossoms since the green parts are reportedly toxic. That alone took me a couple of hours! Pretty much my whole afternoon was spent making the elderflower concoction. It was supposed to ferment […]

Fiesta Friday #437

Fiesta Friday #437

School is out, finally! Hurray, hurray! So now, what?! The first day I don’t have to go to work and I’m not sure what to do. Too many choices! I’ve never been a decisive decider. Sleep. That’s the first order of business. Everything will become clearer after a good, sound sleep. So I’m just going […]

Fiesta Friday #436

Fiesta Friday #436

A friend from work who knows about my blog, and no doubt has been perusing it, recently commented about my recipes. She tried a few and found them to be, in her words, delicious gourmet fancy food. She marvels at the food photos on the blog and contends that I must spend an excessive amount […]

Fiesta Friday #435

Fiesta Friday #435

Gosh, it got so hot this week! I can’t stand the heat, guys! So I got out of the kitchen. We’re subsisting on salads and cold sandwiches. Don’t feel sorry for us. We’re eating well, truly. Yesterday’s salad looked like this. Pasta salad for the win! With minimal cooking and prep other than boiling the […]

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